Do you think it’s possible to be genuinely happy for someone and feel jealous at the same time? I’ve heard that you can’t…but I’m gonna disagree and go with yes. Final answer.
I’m feeling happy and jealous all at the same time….for and of my husband. You see, yesterday I was putting away laundry and he asked me to set some things aside for him instead of hanging them up. As I was doing this I realized that he was starting to pack for a business trip that he leaves for next week. It’s his first trip associated with his new job…the first of many. It’s to Germany. I’ve never been and I want to go. He’s never been either (besides layovers on his way to and from the Middle East for not so nice reasons).
I’m so excited for him, really! Although he is going to work while he is there he’s also going to have time to go site-seeing if he chooses, and I totally hope he does! But since the green eyed monster is knocking on my door I decided to tell my husband about how I was feeling. Guess what, he’s not very excited to go to Germany without me or the kids. He also shared with me that he’s a little jealous of how much time I spend with the kids. Isn’t that so sweet?!?!
It’s easy for me to get lost in all of the monotonous day to day tasks of caring for a family and a home and dream of exotic far off places where I don’t have to think about sensory overload consequences for a special needs child, packing snacks, or having to pull over the van because someone got upset and unbuckled their carseat mid-ride while going 60 mph on a busy road. I sometimes forget about how many cuddles and hugs I get that he doesn’t, and the funny phrases the kids say when he isn’t around because he is busy working.
I love being able to care for our children and keep our home running smoothly (well, as smooth as I can). We would not change a thing about this, it is the right choice for our family! But not looking forward to a fantastic trip is simply not alright, and I certainly don’t want him to feel even worse knowing that I’m a bit jealous.
So we decided to turn these trips into something positive for our whole family and use them as future vacation planning tools. Now after he returns he’ll do his trip report for work and a trip report for us…this will include what he thought about the local food and drink, pictures of cool places, and any other neat things he learns while he is away. Our older two kids also asked him to visit several places while he is in Germany that they have read about. I also took a moment to tell him how grateful I am for how well he provides for our family.
He’s going to go on some really awesome trips over the next couple of years…and now we can all globe trot with him in our own way, and plan ahead for our own adventures in the future when traveling is a bit more feasible for us.